Send compliments up the chain of command, too

September 7, 2010

Even the best writers appreciate compliments. This isn’t something I gave much thought to until very recently.

I’ve always tried to respect everyone with whom I’ve worked, no matter what their position. I pride myself on being an egalitarian, and I truly believe everyone has a contribution to make. I do have trouble with those who don’t work hard or don’t work to their potential, but that’s another post…

We all enjoy compliments; they make us feel valued. While it’s easy to compliment your staff or your peers, compliments don’t always work their way up the chain of command. I realized this a long time ago, and accordingly often communicated my respect to my bosses regarding their ideas and accomplishments.

This has startled my bosses, which I think is a bit sad. Now I’m not talking about being a sycophant; rather, I’m talking about genuine compliments and respect. When I was in the top position, I was saddened to see how many sycophants circled around me. I looked for the real people – there were many. But when I looked for the real compliments, there weren’t many. Now, some could argue that I didn’t deserve compliments, but I hope that’s not the case.

Recently, I complimented one of my long-time mentors. She is a fabulously creative writer and has many articles to her credit. I’ve always taken her talent for granted. She was the best when I met her twenty-some years ago, and she’s only gotten better. Surely she knows that and I don’t need to compliment her, right? My compliment was really matter-of-fact, and I didn’t think twice about it, until her reaction…

She was thrilled that I appreciated what she had done. I was surprised she valued my opinion to that extent.

So, here’s to you, Linda. You’re the best, and I can’t wait to read your new book.

The moral of the story: let’s not forget to compliment all those closest to us, whether it’s staff or peers or bosses or spouses or parents or kids or mentors or that stranger sitting next to you. You’ll make their day.

You’re never too old or too established to appreciate a good compliment.


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